Mojito Says.......

So…………..I think I want to have a Cougar Summer my damn self!! But in the winter. What should I call it? Holiday Hoe-ing? Winter Wilding Out?

P.S. - click the link to read the story that inspired me. (http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-me/it-happened-me-i-became-cougar)

M.

friedfishandfeelings:

veronicamarche:

The Story of Homecoming… As Told By Beyonce.

I got to DC Saturday night. Talia picked me up downtown.

“Keith and Lauren are here,” she said. “We’re going to Bar 7.”

I was like…

…and then all…

We went to Talia’s house and I put on my shortest dress.

And Talia came out in her outfit like… 

I was all in the mirror like…

 Till  Talia said:

 

And so we went.

We walked into Bar 7…

…started dancing…

And when Lauren, Keith, Kevin and Lee got there, I was all…

Then came the drinks. I had a Long Beach.

And a Bay Breeze.

And Jose Cuervo.

And I was leaning like shit.

Talia had all of the above.

PLUS whiskey.

So she was like…

And then….

Then this dude started dancing with her, and spilled his drink on her dress. Talia shoved him and walked to the bathroom like…

Then reggae music started playing. I’m half-Jamaican, so I did this:

Then Kevin grabbed me, so I was like…

And Talia jumped in front of Keith like… 

And we were all dancing on the boys like…

…and our ancestors were proud.

Then I made one of the boys touch my leg…

And he was all, “Don’t start nothing you can’t finish.”

So I was like…

But then the DJ spun “Run The World.”

And I went…

And Lauren knew what was about to happen so she was like…

Because I started…

…and then I was like…

…and…

…all in my spike heels.

I didn’t fall.

At some point in the night I did this…

…repeatedly.

Talia hopped on me like…

…while I was doing this…

…but Keith started taking pictures so I was all…

“Can’t be putting that shit on Facebook, b.”

The rest of the night is fuzzy. But I know it involved a stolen jacket, a broken car window and the police.

By the time we got home, Talia fell out like

And I was on the couch all…

We woke up the next morning like…

And then remembered our homecoming shenanigans.

And I was like, “That was effing AWESOME.”

Fuck yeah, #TeamBadDecisions.